Everyone can be guilty of omitting things, even writers.
But I’m not talking about my writing life. Here, I feel more free to speak my mind. And I know many of you can relate.
I’m referring to my life away from the keyboard. The one that doesn’t have these platforms as a barrier to protect our hearts and souls.
Why is Omission an Issue For Me?
Oh, that’s easy: childhood trauma.
For much of my early years (4–8 years old), I was in foster care for events that I hope will never happen to you or your kids.
And while being in a foster home wasn’t nearly as awful for me as it is for many others in my situation, it stuck a giant dose of trust issues into me.
Which I’ve carried into my twenties.
Often, I was scolded for speaking my mind or being myself, so I learned to hide aspects of myself from others, including how I was feeling at any given moment.
And despite the work I’ve done on myself to improve this, I still tend not to share how I’m actually feeling. It’s instinctual at this point, which isn’t helpful anymore.
How It’s Bitten Me in the Ass as an Adult
I’ve gotten in trouble a lot of times because I didn’t share something directly or waited until the last minute to do so.
And while I know more examples exist, I remember these the best.
My First Time Doing Weed
Now, this one hadn’t been an intentional omission from my mom.
So, I’d gotten high from an edible a friend gave me, and I ended up having a panic attack, which my stepdad calmed me down from.
But by the time she’d gotten home from work, the high had worn off, and it felt awkward to bring up something like that after the moment had already passed.